


Caleb Dume's Cloak

by imgoingtocrash



Series: Cloak 'verse [1]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: Rebels
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Caleb becomes Kanan becomes a Dad, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Father-Son Relationship, Fluff, Force Allusions to Rebels Season 1, Found Family, Gen, Team Parents, background/canon-typical Kanan Jarrus/Hera Syndulla
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-21
Updated: 2017-07-21
Packaged: 2018-12-05 01:56:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,776
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11567922
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imgoingtocrash/pseuds/imgoingtocrash
Summary: “Truly, he’s looking at the cloak in his hand and the boy with wet eyes either half-ready to crawl into his arms or run away and he really doesn’t know how to feel but a bit detached.It was Caleb Dume’s cloak, not his. They left being Jedi behind that night, he made Ezra promise.But Kanan kept the lightsaber.And Ezra kept Caleb’s cloak.”An AU where the events of Order 66/Episode 3 occur a few years later, Ezra is a youngling, and he and Kanan escape the Temple together. A few years down the road, they end up joining Hera on the Ghost together.Kanan catches Ezra with a relic of their Jedi past he’d thought was long gone.





	Caleb Dume's Cloak

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is from the general AU idea of “The events of Episode 3 are delayed a few years, Ezra’s a youngling at the temple at the time, and Kanan ends up being his caretaker because they meet earlier and have to run from the Temple together”, but was definitely spurred into action after reading a different take on the idea in [you can hide beside me by anakien (get_winchestered)](http://www.archiveofourown.org/works/7699156). Recommended because it’s great, heartwarming, and I love all versions of Kanan knowing/raising Ezra a little earlier in his life.
> 
> While this is a canon divergence as listed, otherwise the fic takes place before Rebels season one (and hints at the coming events of that season), but is after the events of _A New Dawn_. 
> 
> Basically, despite Kanan having Ezra around (but likely on another planet for safety/not being privy to the events), Kanan takes a job on Gorse, meets Hera, and afterward he and Ezra join the Ghost crew together. This fic takes place about a year or two after they join up with Hera and not long before they add Zeb and Sabine.
> 
> Sorry for the long Author’s Note! Hopefully it all makes sense! Enjoy!

"Hey kiddo, I think Hera wanted you to see her in the cockpit about fifteen minutes“—Kanan trails off, eyebrow raised at his young charge—“ago.”

Currently Ezra's head of dark hair is buried in his closet, the back of his short body awkwardly poised toward the doorway and by extension Kanan. At the sound of Kanan's voice, Ezra snaps straight, slowly facing Kanan with a stature and facial features that scream guilty.

It's something he doesn't even bother to look for in the Force, whether he'd vowed to hide his and Ezra's pasts or not. His knowledge of Ezra comes from being his father figure for so long.

Ezra seemingly avoiding his responsibilities on the _Ghost_ out of nowhere? Check. Ezra digging into things _quietly_ all by himself? Check. Ezra facing Kanan with a completely false grin, moving his arms and speaking too loudly in his greeting of "Hey, Kanan, what's up?" in the hopes of creating a distraction to make Kanan forget whatever he'd been up to? Triple check.

Ezra is decidedly up to something.

It is because of this knowledge that he feels his next actions are almost a practiced routine. "Ezra," he warns, lacing his tone with just the right mix of knowing and possibly foreboding, depending on what he’s up to.

He's not even sure what exactly he expects Ezra to _be_ doing on their empty, parked ship, but he'd found trouble even in the tranquil Temple as a youngling way back when. Boring and calm is hardly his child's element.

 

(Meditation—one of the only Jedi practices he allowed them to keep in the early days so that a young Ezra wouldn't grow bored when waiting for Kanan to come off of working shifts to keep them in relatively decent shelter and food—was often a nightmare because of this. He'd always heard rumors his possible future padawan was a bit difficult with concentration during meditation, but he hadn't really experienced it first hand until he'd caught Ezra snoring instead of deep breathing for the fifteenth time.)

 

Whatever trouble it is he expected Ezra to dream up, Ezra's actual reaction is certainly even more unexpected. Usually his looks and words of warning leave Ezra in an exaggerated pout; making him immediately prepared to defend _why his actions weren't actually_ that _bad and honestly, dad, he's learned his lesson already, who needs punishment, really?_

 

(Kanan only caved once to Ezra's dirty trick of calling him "dad" to soften the blow. It wasn't the only or first time—as according to the forged paperwork they’d gotten sliced up he was Ezra's father—but it still stunned him sometimes how much he _felt_ like Ezra's father in moments like these and how glad he was to still have Ezra around.

Not to mention—dare he even think it—Ezra could be unexpectedly sweet sometimes, and that too could be disorienting. As they both got older, such actions even made Kanan a little misty-eyed about the youngling he’d gotten to see grow up so fast, much to Hera’s continued amusement and quiet sympathy.

Still. The trick had worked just the once.)

 

“I—I know you said not to, but I—“ Ezra's head turns down, chin pressing against his chest. His fists are balled up behind his back, but Kanan sees the tightness of his posture. His words come out in rushed, high-pitched little puffs. "I couldn't stop thinking about how far it had come—how far _we'd_ come, and I didn't think the lightsaber was enough. It felt wrong to just throw it away. I just—I couldn't! I still can't. I still—!”

"Hey, hey, woah. Slow down.” He walks the few steps to cross the room to Ezra's side, kneeling down so that they're at a relatively similar height. He moves his hands to rub over Ezra's shoulders, then moves them to the back of his head, bringing their foreheads together for a moment. "You gotta breathe. Whatever it is, you gotta breathe and tell me. Just like we used to practice, okay?"

For a quiet moment they just stay there, Kanan's hands on Ezra's head, in his hair, just synchronizing their breathing. He doesn't even have to count like he used to because Ezra sometimes lost track on his own. Ezra's, for once, zeroed in.

They take one long last big breath together, both physically and as a familiar sigh through their Force bond.

"So?" he asks, placing his hands back to Ezra's shoulders. He tries to relax, to let Ezra absorb his feelings of acceptance and affection. No matter what it is, he's here to listen. He steels himself for any number of reactions, as he's worried what could shake Ezra up so deeply. He's used to Ezra being snarky and bright and energetic. Somber and shaken has often been more Kanan's role.

Ezra frowns again, moving his arm and presenting Kanan with a tattered brown pile of fabric. He raises an eyebrow, confused at first because what about some simple cloth could be so—

He didn't want to _just_ take Kanan's lightsaber, is what he said. _Oh_.

He lets go of Ezra and unfurls the fabric, cradling the familiar hood and letting the rest hang onto the floor. It's his, not Ezra's. Ezra hadn't even been given one of the cloaks yet. He'd been too small, too inexperienced, a youngling not even initiated.

Ezra had stashed this cloak among their meager possessions the night they left Kaller and had somehow kept it hidden from Kanan until now.

He doesn't know what to think of that.

Truly, he's looking at the cloak in his hand and the boy with wet eyes either half-ready to crawl into his arms or run away and he really doesn't know how to feel but a bit detached. 

It was Caleb Dume's cloak, not his. They left being Jedi behind that night, he made Ezra promise.

But Kanan kept the lightsaber. 

And Ezra kept Caleb's cloak.

"I know what you said about keeping that stuff. I _understand_ , but I just..." Ezra's face crumples, and Kanan catches when his body follows, bunching up both the cloak and Ezra against his chest, Ezra's face warm against his shoulder. "I still miss it so much."

Ezra doesn't elaborate, just lets out a sob that makes Kanan's own heart half snap in two. It's muffled in his shirt, but Ezra's crying is rare and it never stops sounding loud enough to Kanan’s ears to make the whole galaxy's eardrums bleed.

 

(He thinks of that first night on Coruscant, how he'd tried to make it seem like a night in the lower levels was like a night under the stars. _It’s a birthday adventure_ , he’d said. It had worked half-heartedly for both of them until Ezra woke up sobbing, scared, and clinging to him for dear life. He wanted his teacher, he wanted his parents, he wanted to go back to the Temple, _he wanted to go_ home _Caleb, please_.)

 

Ezra's a little old for picking up, but Kanan manages, moving them from the floor to Ezra's usually empty bottom bunk. Ever since they decided he could have his own room instead of sharing with Kanan, Ezra had proudly made the top bunk his own. 

He tries to shove the cloak to the floor but the child in his arms whines, shaking his head. He wonders if that’s what Ezra had been doing with it in secret all this time, keeping it close. _A security blanket_ , he thinks. 

God, sometimes he forgets just how young Ezra is. 

He was a padawan at thirteen, but he’d gone off to fight in the Clone Wars and thought nothing of it. Ezra’s barely even ten. Most days they’re just trying to survive, but Kanan knows Hera’s ambitions. Somewhere deep down all he wants is to help her with those plans of stopping the Empire. One day war could be upon them and Ezra likely won’t hesitate to help after what the Empire did to their home. He doubts they’ll be able to stay out of it like they are now.

 

(Sometimes he thinks he sees glimpses of Ezra with a lightsaber in his hands, a scar on his skin, and he wonders if the Force uses visions as a cruel reminder to its users that they’ve been away for too long.)

 

Ezra clenches the material of the cloak in his fists, so Kanan pulls it around Ezra’s form, giving up the fight on trying to get it out of the way.

Hera appears in the doorway, brow furrowed in annoyance, likely at the communication breakdown. 

“Ezra, did Kanan not tell you I wanted to see you?” Then she takes in whatever they must look like—Ezra still crying into his shoulder and Kanan contorting himself to hold the boy on the bunk—and softens.

Hera moves slowly, feet making only light thumps against the floor before she lowers herself onto the bunk’s mattress, crossing her legs comfortably and running a hand over Ezra’s back. “What’s going on?”

She’s gotten more comfortable with Ezra after the last year or so of him being on the ship. A child being a part of the crew is unorthodox and at times he’s left behind with Chopper for his safety, but she’s respected his place as Kanan’s family and has taken them into her own. 

After Gorse she found out his secret. Inviting him onto her ship forced him to reveal that he wasn’t alone in keeping it. Not since the day he and Ezra ran from the Temple together and couldn’t go back. Ezra was his responsibility. He was either going with them or he and Hera would regrettably have to part ways.

 

(“I have a good feeling about him,” she’d said, smiling and watching Ezra ooh and ahh over every little detail of the _Ghost_ with Chopper chasing at his heels. She nudged his shoulder with her own. “And you.”

He’d smiled back. “I’m glad.” Because working with her was different than the other jobs he’d done to provide. He cared about Ezra and himself, but never the galaxy. It felt good and right in a part of himself he’d promised to ignore.)

 

Kanan shrugs in answer to her question, in the process quietly nudging where Ezra is still sniffling against his shoulder in the hopes of getting him to address Hera’s presence and question. Ezra shakes his head, burying himself further.

“Ezra, look at me.” Kanan tilts Ezra’s head to his own, waiting as Ezra wipes his wet face with a robe-covered sleeve. “I know what I said about hiding everything that happened before, but Hera already knows all of the important parts. You’re allowed to talk to us when stuff’s bothering you, okay?”

“I,” Ezra looks down, crossing his arms but not moving from his spot against Kanan. “I miss them, sometimes. The Temple. I miss my friends and all of the teachers. Being surrounded by the Force that strongly. Not all the time, but…sometimes.”

“And when you do…?” Kanan tugs on the cloak, adjusting it a little more firmly around Ezra’s shoulders and also making a point.

“To remember,” Ezra confirms. “I know that I still have you, but I remember when you came and played with me back in the créche. Or when you’d lead our questioning sessions! Even though you hated it because I couldn’t focus, I’d bug everyone else, and then you’d complain to Master Billaba all the time. I just…” He shrugs, still not looking at Kanan, slightly embarrassed and puffy-eyed from crying.

“You’re allowed to miss that stuff, Ezra,” Hera says. “It’s hard to lose the only life you’ve known so quickly like you did.”

“But Master Yoda says—“ Ezra starts—likely about to rattle off one of the many Jedi sayings about emotion and attachment—then stumbles, attempting to correct. “Said, um, he always _said_ …”

“Oh no,” Hera tuts, lightly tugging Ezra from Kanan’s lap and placing him in the space between them, her arm around his back. “None of that.”

“But—!” Ezra almost leaps from her grasp, voice almost pleading in defense.

“No, Ezra, listen.” Hera takes Ezra’s hand in her own, squeezing and waiting until he settles back into her arm. “I respect all that the Jedi have done. I know that they’re important to you—both of you. I know it can be your default setting to go back to those teachings. But…sometimes you just have to feel what you feel. It’s the healthiest way to deal with it, even if it’s not always what the Jedi would have wanted. And if you do have those kinds of questions about the Order’s old ways, you have Kanan. No one knows the Jedi better.”

Ezra looks up to him in question, so he nods and moves to bracket Ezra on the other side. “I miss them too. All the time. Maybe I don’t talk about it enough, but it’s easier for me that way. It’s okay that it isn’t like that for you.”

“Can I…” Ezra leans into Kanan’s shoulder and almost speaks at a whisper. “Am I allowed to talk about my parents? At the Temple, they said we probably wouldn’t remember them, but…sometimes I do. I have these… _dreams_ about them. I didn’t think I would recognize them after so long, but they’re in this dark place all huddled together and alone and scared and I _know_ it’s them and—!”

Kanan puts up a placating hand to quiet him. Sometimes, much like a young Caleb would get carried away in asking so many questions, Ezra subdues his discomfort with rapid-fire talking. “It might be visions, Ezra. At a time, I had them, and many Jedi and Padawans did. Or maybe they really are just dreams. It’s hard to tell this early. It’s rare for younglings to remember their parents, but it isn’t impossible. Just because I didn’t doesn’t mean you won’t.”

“And you’re allowed to miss them,” Hera adds, giving Ezra a little squeeze of comfort. There’s a beat of silence before she continues. “You know, I miss my parents.”

“You do?” Ezra inquires, perking up with interest at being trusted with anything about her past Hera shares with them.

“My mother has been gone for a while now, but I find myself remembering stuff about her all the time. How she took her caff, her favorite dress, just…stupid little things. My father—we— _disagree_ on some things, but I miss when things were simpler between us.”

Ezra takes Hera’s hand again and gives it a squeeze, situating himself more comfortably against Kanan’s shoulder. Kanan allows the silence to continue for a minute before he runs a hand through Ezra’s hair, unable to see his expression. “You gonna be okay?” A short “mmm” is the only response, which makes him frown and lean forward a little. “Aaaand he’s out.”

Hera huffs out a laugh. “That quick? Of course.”

“Thank you,” he murmurs to Hera, careful of waking Ezra even if it’s not really his usual sleep cycle. He’ll be terrible to corral into sleep later on, but looking at Ezra swallowed by his old cloak and kind of pitiful convinces him that it’s worth the later battle.

Hera shrugs. “I hate seeing him upset. I’m too used to him running around making trouble. Seems wrong for him to be so sad.”

“Well, for that too, but for talking about your parents to do it. I know that it’s hard for you.”

“No offense, but it’s not like you have any experience to draw from on that front. For once it’s an area of expertise I know more about than you where it concerns him.”

“Oh, I don’t know about that. You know more about piloting than me. Or anyone, really. You’d be a great teacher if he wanted.”

She rolls her eyes. “Such a flirt.”

He shrugs the unencumbered shoulder, a familiar, entertained grin curling up his cheek. “I try.”

Hera looks down at Ezra’s hand still holding hers, rubbing the back of it with her thumb. “He’s been through a lot, huh?”

“More than most.” Kanan sighs, thinking of whatever Ezra may be seeing that aren’t simply dreams of the life he could have had with his parents instead of being with Kanan all these years. “And more to come.”

“The Force tell you that?”

“Father’s intuition,” He raises an eyebrow. “It is _Ezra_ , after all.”

Hera laughs softly, looking at Ezra and then locking eyes with Kanan. “He’ll have us, though.”

He nods, moving his hand from around Ezra’s shoulder and lightly squeezing Hera’s. “He’ll have us.”

**Author's Note:**

> I’m admittedly weak for found family period, but I really love the idea of Kanan and Hera getting to raise Ezra a little earlier on in his life. It was an idea I wanted to explore in this canon divergent verse, but figured I would probably burn out on if I tried to outline and write all of this verse in an establishing fic instead of just jumping right in to the moment I had fresh in my mind and giving some suggested context. Hopefully it wasn’t terribly confusing.
> 
> Thanks for reading! All comments/kudos/bookmarks are appreciated. If you ever wanna talk about this fic or Star Wars in general, I’m [imgoingtocrash](http://www.imgoingtocrash.tumblr.com) on Tumblr too!


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